I lose without a fight!!

A simple, decent message from her early this morning was a STORM i couldn't handle...
It's literally taking morphine orally to relief pain... u know how it tastes!!

Araid to be alone is a rather absurd reason! Stupid really!! may b i wasn't convincing enough for her to provide the warmth of a relationship..now i really understand that good friends are not meant to be together!! that's y I always ended up sucking repellent instead of her blood!!

giving me hopes and possibilities was her fine way of rejecting!! *clap* y didn't I understand that simple msg?? y did i keep myself blind?? I knew this gonna happen at the very first instance, the feeling came about...I'd been living with too much of unrealistic hopes and undeserved infatuation!! what a waste of time!!.. She was right... the best man wins!! and i was not the guy after all..

it's alright!!

NO it's not..

I can't accept the fact that I lose without a fight!!!
what a shame~

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by Dr. Chronic~ ~ Tuesday, 28 April 2009 1 comments

Clashes of interest and personality!!

It has been a gruelling challenge for me to find someone who shares the same interests!! most of the times, i find myself suffer from the torment of inner battle just for the sake of accomodating people..It has always been me who gives in to entertain their needs!! BUT sadly at the same time leaving my interests unpursued!! it's completely exhausting and uneasy!! HELL i'm struggling.....

Some people are just plainly self-centered and selfish i'd say!! it's so unfortunate to have experienced much of these people!! n being around them still.. in a totally deserted population is somewhat a torture for a "malleable" person like me.. I bend in many possible ways to interlock ..what option do I have???

I should blame my personality for not having the gut to deny people!! Knowing me for nearly 23 years.. i hardly say NO.. it's rude!! it's been my patience and forgiveness that compromise things!! bt sadly my crave for a mutual response has never been satisfied!! i don't deserve this!! Today,, i was disgruntled again!! and realized that my heart is now spaceless for another try...

It's time for me to be firm with what i wanted in life!! being unhappy for other people's happiness is BULLSHIT!! do it on selected pple may be =P life is too short, i just want to be with people whom i enjoyed to be with...or y not being independant??? yess y not??



ok la esok pi main bowling sorang2 =( haha

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by Dr. Chronic~ ~ Monday, 20 April 2009 1 comments