It will grow inside you, if you let it.

when I was young (i can't really say that now :)) i had this strange inflated sense of emotionless-ness when it came to saying goodbye to people. I could easily say goodbye to friends and family and not think twice about the next time i would see them. This is not because of a cold heart but out of necessity. Before I left home[...]

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by Dr. Chronic~ ~ Friday, 19 March 2010 1 comments

Nothing is really sacred.

It is in this last breath of esoteric nonsense that I rub my eyes into clarity and with softer voice I speak. I can transport myself into any of my travels when I sleep at night, sometimes when I am awake, often they are beautiful dreams of the worlds of sights and sounds I have come to know. [...]

I can see the beautiful, serene valley of Todra gorge of Morocco and its neighbouring Dades river. They have both curved out cliff-sided canyons through the Atlas Mountains. The view is even more spectacular as the canyon narrows to a flat stony track in places with sheer and smooth rock walls up so high on each side! BREATHAKING.

Sometimes I enjoy the hustle and bustle of Djeema El Fana and its surrounding ridiculous flea markets and souks of Marrakech. People are haggling, buying and selling everywhere in these souks but I on the other hand was swindled, DAMN IT!

I can still smell the most colourful arrays of herbal medicines, big tajines of cous-cous with lemons and almond chicken, or a crackling hot bowl of snail soup! YUCKsss! but the ridiculous Faris seems to enjoy it so much! I can still smell the STINK of it and recall both times the feeling of getting used of that small every night there and wondering if anything is TRULY DIFFERENT AT ALL or just my perceptions?

I often see myself completely immersed in the MOST RELAXING felluca ride to Nubian Village in Aswan! I can still feel myself breathe in the fresh air, the gentle wind constantly ruffles my hair, sailing through the Nile River with breathtaking views on either side! HEAVEN.

Now I am all awake in the pricks of reality, coming to nearly the end of my journey of space flight around the sun. I am awake and dreaming. I am living and loving the beauty of this arrogant city, looking at a table with an empty glass and a mole skin journal which holds my EXIT strategy along with my fate. Every piece of this journey must be mathematically calculated to keep myself safe, preparation is the key!

In the torn of this westernized society, in this painfully friendly city I now live in, I find myself in silent smiles towards the diverse ‘genes’ I have come to know in the last 7 months. My story has landed a supporting actor role in their movies and i'll not feel the shame of failing to tell them the love of theirs that I bring with me always. "That’s your problem amezul, you love too much." - JB

So what will become of me?

whatever has happened in my life is a one-way process set in motion that cannot be reversed. This is the path i've chosen and i know when to listen to the scratches of dust in my throat. I'm awake now with this love and no other love I watch the tide slap against the seawall at night and iI begin to fathom the limits of our known universe.

I admit that I'm LONELY sometimes, but I just wish other people could feel this. I'm lonely in the sense that I feel alone with my thoughts.

Take a good look at my eyes next time you see me.. they've seen a lot..