The torment....
It was DEVASTATING!! The worst feeling I’ve ever had so far!!
I walked back and forth, aimlessly! Until my sis noticed me being like one of those strayed lunatics!
Thank god! she didn’t ask me anything about the sudden change!
I knew that my face could not LIE; so that I switched off the lamp,
And in the darkness of that very night!!
I CRIED my heart out silently!! until I dried in that long sleepless night....
The following couple of days were completely deserted... I had nothing in minds BUT ceaseless, debilitating worries... I became rebellious intermittently with my superficial faith guarded me in between... HELL!! I’ve never been pushed way too far to this edge!!
One morning, I was totally annoyed with a phone call from an unidentified number, as it woke me up from sleeping!! I was heavily “menorrhagic”, completely not in a good mood! =p The voice sounded very familiar.. the way she greeted me and all gave me a sense of de javu and yes apparently it turned out to be her...
That was my first attempt to express myself after a week of holding “it” back!! Not even my closet blood kin knew about it BUT I happened to throne my trust to her... All I can say, the half an hour long conversation was definitely worthwhile and she did console me down.. I was so much relieved and felt so grateful for having her close, around. FOR the time she spent, and for the thoughts she put in me! Thank you very much! She brought me off the edge, and yeah I finally survived!
She said, “Everything happens for a reason! BUT we just can’t figure out His plans at this moment as it’s just beyond our jurisdiction” This is a definite test of FAITH!! Just believe that every dark cloud has its silver lining, He wouldn’t give you this test if you were incapable of handling it and I’m pretty sure you’ll be doing just fine”
A month later, I learned that what she said to me about “having faith in Him” was absolutely right!
The prayers and the cries... No doubt about it!
Thank you Allah for your mercy
salam
18th july 2009