My lifelog....

The torment....

It was DEVASTATING!! The worst feeling I’ve ever had so far!!

I walked back and forth, aimlessly! Until my sis noticed me being like one of those strayed lunatics!

Thank god! she didn’t ask me anything about the sudden change!

I knew that my face could not LIE; so that I switched off the lamp,

And in the darkness of that very night!!

I CRIED my heart out silently!! until I dried in that long sleepless night....

The following couple of days were completely deserted... I had nothing in minds BUT ceaseless, debilitating worries... I became rebellious intermittently with my superficial faith guarded me in between... HELL!! I’ve never been pushed way too far to this edge!!

One morning, I was totally annoyed with a phone call from an unidentified number, as it woke me up from sleeping!! I was heavily “menorrhagic”, completely not in a good mood! =p The voice sounded very familiar.. the way she greeted me and all gave me a sense of de javu and yes apparently it turned out to be her...

That was my first attempt to express myself after a week of holding “it” back!! Not even my closet blood kin knew about it BUT I happened to throne my trust to her... All I can say, the half an hour long conversation was definitely worthwhile and she did console me down.. I was so much relieved and felt so grateful for having her close, around. FOR the time she spent, and for the thoughts she put in me! Thank you very much! She brought me off the edge, and yeah I finally survived!

She said, “Everything happens for a reason! BUT we just can’t figure out His plans at this moment as it’s just beyond our jurisdiction” This is a definite test of FAITH!! Just believe that every dark cloud has its silver lining, He wouldn’t give you this test if you were incapable of handling it and I’m pretty sure you’ll be doing just fine”

A month later, I learned that what she said to me about “having faith in Him” was absolutely right!

The prayers and the cries... No doubt about it!

Thank you Allah for your mercy

salam

18^th july 2009

by Dr. Chronic~ ~ Tuesday, 29 September 2009 3 comments

congrats!!

Alhamdullilah..

I passed my third year final exams!!
you're now officially a 4th year medic

YEHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

by Dr. Chronic~ ~ Wednesday, 8 July 2009 1 comments

Keep it low...

Exams are in a week time!!
I still have a stack of handouts to go through!!
I'm speeding up...

I profoundly believe it's gonna be fine!
BUT I don't want this confidence jeopardises me again..

wise people don't fall twice at the same place=p
keep it low......

by Dr. Chronic~ ~ Wednesday, 17 June 2009 0 comments

Silence offers you more than you bargained for...

I personally believe that all people need space in between "intimacies" and that plausibly explains why the mars are pulling away acutely sometimes, encaving themselves and opting for a temporary social isolation.. we definitely NEED TIME to recharge ourselves!! thinking of solutions if we have problems, and most importanly giving time for the wounds to HEAL... so that we can start FRESH, all over again!!..

I also have this nature of reclusing myself, being solitary and not gregarious, in occasions where problems consume a lot of my time!!.. It usually revolves around friendships with oddballs!! who do weird things, that u can't simply see the attraction of!! ouhh whatver!!...

I always ended up being so HOSTILE.. I knowwwwwwwww!!.. it's not a good thing.. BUT that's how i adapt.. giving me more personal, private time to think of the solutions and most importantly to compose myself down!!

Don't worry much if it takes too long! as i'll definitely make a come back!! BUT i demand a mutual respect and understanding.. I'm just being firm with my principles!

I believe, silence offers you more than you bargained for"

16.06.09, 17:08

by Dr. Chronic~ ~ 1 comments

Take it slower...

Do you run through each day On the fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

take it slower~

Ever told your friend,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,'Hi'
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short. The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift..
Thrown away.

Life is not a RACE
Do take it SLOWER
Hear the music
Before the song is over...................

by Dr. Chronic~ ~ Saturday, 6 June 2009 1 comments

a good start!

3 strikes in a row!! (a turkey) and then 2 gutters! i was the model of inconsistency!!
Last tuesday nevertheless marked a new history in my career as an amateur bowler! *career katenye*!! haha.. one of my wildest dreams apart from being a writer! =P

I played 3 games and i knocked down 199 pins in the 2nd one! i was very much impressed with myself for the new record...

136, 199, 157 overall, It was a good start!!

by Dr. Chronic~ ~ Saturday, 9 May 2009 0 comments

He paid me cash!

In the years of prophecy, the history has revealed that He sent a race of TINY birds (ababil) to destroy the army of elephants! and today He sent me a gentle, white dove to remind me of his existence, the king of the whole universe, Ya Rabbul Jalil!! It was really a tight smack on my face, and a wake up call for not remembering him whole-heartedly!!

It was a lovely, sunny wednesday afternoon that me and my friends walked to a park to have a lunch picnic!! We seated in a circle of 7 under a massive linden tree, a canopy that shaded us from the bright sunlight!! The mid spring breeze was surprisingly a bit cilly though.. Not far from us were a flock of pigeons, pecking on the grounds, and a couple of white men with shades on, laying topless on the green grass!!

While gobbling down the foods, One of my friends was telling me a story about a lady in a queue for a bus at Liverpool street station.. A pigeon flew above her and dropped a fluidy crap on her head, and face!!.. Evryone was laughing mildly at the story, trying to be emphatic!! BUT i was on the other hand laughing my ass off like HELL!! nearly to the brink of a tummy cramps!!

Suddenly i felt, something was dropping on my shirt!! My friends were all acutely silent in awed and focused on me! then and I stopped laughing!! looking at my chest, There were hardly no words to describe my feelings to see two drops of bird's crap on my shirt!! OMG

My friends were all laughing uncontrollably! leaving me alone with tissues to clean up the mess!! to be honest! i dont mind the crap! even if it's dropped on my face!! it's the msg that HE the Almighty sent to me matters the most!

It was THE BEST LESSON I'VE EVER HAD IN 23 years!! perhaps a lesson of life!!
and it was from a pigeon!!

salam

by Dr. Chronic~ ~ Friday, 8 May 2009 0 comments